The transformative power of habit

Our daily life is a collection of conscious and unconscious thoughts and habits. Some serve us well allowing us to be organised, make the school lunches, nail our role as the family PA and get out the door on time each morning. Some are productive, aiding in moving us toward our goals whilst others create barriers to our progress.

Often, we consider our habits to be things we do. Our morning routine, staying up too late reading online content that may be interesting but is depriving us of valuable sleep or indulging in foods that we know are not promoting good health.

Looking beyond this level of conscious behaviour there is a sea of subconscious habits in the form of our thoughts and beliefs. These habits are constantly running a scan in the background of our lives, colouring the way we view the world and the quality of our relationships.

Any aspect of our life that we wish to improve, whether it be on a personal level or in a professional capacity, requires adjustments these subconscious thought patterns to align with the direction we choose to take and the person we choose to be. It is all our choice and we can engineer the way we think and respond to circumstances by cultivating a mindset that serves us powerfully.

Often the concept of improving an area of our lives is promoted with a focus on knowing what we don’t want and the negative aspects surrounding this thinking rather than fixing our sights on our vision for our future direction and goals.

When I work with clients, whether it be executives, entrepreneurs, individual coaching sessions or enhancing the culture within a business space, we do not focus on negatives. The focus is on observance. Effective change can only take place from a position of awareness. Acknowledging and expanding that which has been working and creating new pathways for change in the areas that are not aligned with the vision and goals moving forward. Change is simply a process. Our perspective and action is what gives it robust strength.

Whether it be our personal goals or our role in the workplace, the way we feel about change has the power to create sustainable transformation and build strong relationships or cause our grand plans fall over after a short time. The spoken language we use and our inner self-talk, has an incredibly powerful impact on the results we see in our physical reality. It permeates our perspectives and is woven into our beliefs.

As an example, take the common personal goal of wanting to lose weight. The phrase ‘I want to lose weight’ has a subconscious undertone that one is carrying around something that is unwanted yet our subconscious conditioning about losing something may be that we feel a degree of unhappiness and discontent over the loss. On a conscious level, we can be absolutely committed to the intention to lose weight but our subconscious associations around loss and our past experiences of loss in a multitude of forms that have nothing to do with our weight, can become an underlying current that slows our progress. These thought programs can run in the background hindering the process of shedding the extra kilos. Adapting the thought program to focus on creating a stronger body, enjoying the energising effect of increased exercise, seeing food as a fuel for the body and enjoying the benefits of a clearer mind combine to empower the process. With a shift in mindset and clear small action steps, new habits form. A more positive sense of self-image develops and typically, over time, the new habits become woven into your daily routine and the weight begins to shift. Rather than setting a date on which the weight should be lost, which can simply add another layer of stress if the scales aren’t yet meeting your expectations, we can shift negative toned thoughts to refocus on the direction in which we intend to move. This shift in mindset must then be followed up with clear action.

Here’s a guide to assisting with creating new pathways for achieving goals.

1.    Accept where you are now no matter what the circumstances. You are here right now at this point in your life.

 2.    Take time to observe, without judgment, the thoughts and beliefs that you have each day.

Some will be powerful and effective whilst others will be disempowering and creating blockages. Where did the belief originate? Does this belief still serve you?

 3.    Make a conscious effort to simply recognise any negative thoughts and reframe them with a positive slant.

 4.    Make a commitment to yourself to create one new habit a week for 4 weeks and schedule them in your diary.

It doesn’t matter how small the habit. The process will begin the shift in your conscious awareness. As the process becomes familiar and you experience the benefits, it becomes easier to make more significant changes.

 5.    Schedule specific times in the day when you will take action on creating the new habit.

Commit to these times in the same way as attending a meeting or linking into a conference call.

 6.    In your diary check off each day that you made an effort to adapt your thoughts or actions.

 7.    Just prior to going to sleep at night, acknowledge your efforts for the day no matter how small and reaffirm your commitment to continue tomorrow

Examples of new habits:

·      Set weekly goals that are aligned with what you want to have achieved 3 months from now and write them down. Break the goals down into daily steps then schedule time to action these steps.

 ·      Make the effort to connect with 3 people in the week with whom you wish to build stronger professional or social relationships.

 ·      Give daily gratitude for anything: your health, your family, your home, that the sun is shining, that you have clean water drink and food to eat

 ·      Set a clear intention for your day before getting out of bed

·      Boost the energy in your workplace by complementing 3 people each day

·      Clear 5 pieces of clutter from a desk/drawer or bench space each day

 ·      Cut down to 1 cup of coffee per day

 ·      Drink 2 bottles of water by 3pm

·      Commit to getting 1 hour extra sleep each night

 ·      Walk for 20 mins at lunch time

·      Replace one sweet snack during the day with a naturally sweetened more nutritious option

 ·      Cook extra food 2 nights each week so there is some left to take for lunch

Take your new habit and spend a few minutes to clearly visualise yourself living this habit daily. What does it look like? How do you feel?

Creating transformation through a shift in mindset is a long-term process because sustainable and empowering habits become established only when we shift our thoughts regularly which in turn creates new perspectives.

We often underestimate the power of small action steps. One small step at a time. A month from now you will have 4 improved aspects to your life and in the process will have eroded 4 disempowering aspects. You will also have established a significant shift in your conscious and subconscious awareness.

How to give your New Year resolution lasting impact

It’s that time of year again. The holiday transition period where the celebrations of Christmas are over and the New Year and all the promise it holds, is looming closer. These are the days where we have a chance to relax after the hype and busyness of Christmas and take stock of the year that has been. It is also the time of year where we often start making grand plans for the year ahead.

New Years resolutions seem to be loathed or loved. Loathed because in years past they have been made on a whim or have fallen over within a few weeks, or loved because they hold within them feelings of promise and new beginnings.

I always find the New Year refreshing and exciting. I love the concept of new beginnings and new adventures. The idea that I can take my ideas and bring them into reality. Of course I can do this at any time during the year but for some reason the ideas flow with great intensity around the new year. Maybe it’s because I always have holiday time between Christmas and New Year. There is quiet time to think, contemplate and manifest. I energetically create the space for renewal.   

With any resolution there are pivotal questions, the most influential being why? Why do you want this new years resolution? What will it bring to your life? How will it make you feel? How would this new feeling benefit you?

A resolution made purely on the basis that you want something you do not have, is destined for collapse. Your resolution may be to loose weight, to be more organised, spend more time with your kids, try a new hobby or take Salsa dancing classes. Whatever it is, it is likely the reason you want it is because it is going to make you feel better on some level. It will fill a place within you that you sense lack, displacement or that feels unfulfilled.

A new way of being requires a new way of thinking.

Let’s say your New Years resolution is to be 10kg lighter? Now project your thoughts ahead to imagine that you are already 10kg lighter. How does the ‘new you’ look? How does this 10kg lighter version of yourself act? What do they eat? How much do they exercise? What new organisational plans were put in place to achieve this new goal weight? Was exercise time scheduled? What dietary changes were made? How did the new version of ‘you’ think? Where did you focus your thoughts?

We effectively achieve our goals by focusing our thoughts in the direction that we want to go. Not by focusing on what we do not want. We attract into our life that which we are thinking and also feeling. Begin by resolving to shift your thoughts and see this as your primary focus rather than the outcome of the goal. 

Start with changing the way you perceive the situation. Focus on the feeling your new resolution will bring to your life each moment. Begin to recognise these feelings as you go through your day. We do not make significant changes overnight. We did not arrive at where we are today in an instant. We took life step by step. This is also how we will shift. 

Each night before you go to sleep, take a few moments to recount the proactive steps you took toward your goal. Acknowledge that you did the best you could throughout the day. Look at what was effective and commit to yourself that you will stay on this path again when you awake for the new day. Don’t commit to being perfect. Commit to keep on stepping forward. 

Every action and every intention takes you one step closer toward a habit. Once a new way of thinking and being becomes habitual, you will start to see incremental changes. Put realistic time frames on your goals. If your plan is to melt away 10kg in weight, be realistic. Give yourself adequate time to achieve your goal. Don’t weigh yourself every day. Instead, weigh up your thought processes and your actions toward your goal.

Now open up to the infinite possibilities that come to you as result of this new mindset.

Starting the day with intention

When you wake each morning do you hit the alarm clock, stumble out of bed, and launch straight into the day? Do you reach straight for your device of choice updating yourself on the latest news, Facebook posts and emails that arrived sometime during the night?

I remember when I was in my late teens and early twenties I would routinely hit the snooze button 4 times. Why I didn’t just set my alarm for half an hour later I still do not know. Today it makes no sense to me but for years I was a chronic snooze button junkie. I’d start the day weary, stumbling my way through until morning tea time when I’d down a 2nd cup of coffee and finally feel awake. I never really planned my day. I just got up and started in whatever headspace I was in at the time. Life happened, it evolved around me and I organically fitted into the landscape of my life through some sort of morphism process.

Fast forward twenty years and my days start very differently. I’ve shifted from being a night owl to a morning person. I wake before sunrise each day and begin by quietly taking a few moments to appreciate the start of a new day, to envision a smooth and calm flowing schedule and I breathe deeply. I usually do some yoga and stretching or read a book and write while I enjoy a morning coffee. By 6:45am I’m making school lunches, answering a few emails and the day is in full swing. Even if I go flat out until 9:00pm I have taken time to care for myself and replenish my energy supplies before the demands of the day.

Our morning routine can have a powerful positive flow into your whole day. Most of us spend the majority of our days working, giving time and energy to our children, partners and employers. If there is any time left over we may manage a half hour walk in a lunch break. Often the time we need for exercise and ‘chilling out’ gets pushed to the bottom of the pecking order. We put our own self-care below that of everyone else in our lives. Keep this up for long enough and we end up burnt out, irritable, lethargic and generally stressed. We hang out for a few days off or the next weekend when nothing is scheduled. We have plans for all the things that need to be done or grand plans for what we may like to do, and when the time arrives we’re so exhausted we can’t be bothered. We aren’t productive because we need rest to fill up our depleted energy reserves.

    4 things you can do to streamline your day

1.     Wake before 6:30am and at the same time each day 

I know we have all heard this before but it truly does make a difference. It may be difficult in the beginning but, like cutting back on caffeine and sugar, it will be worth the effort. Your body will feel more energised throughout the day.

2.     Take time to breathe and be still for a few moments

If your first interaction for the day is reading your email you are starting your day in someone else’s agenda. If you begin with the news you are starting the day immersed in the stress of the world. If you begin with social media you are launching your day with a barrage of information some of which may be interesting, much of which is superficial.

Take time to envision your day the way you plan it to be. This can be done before you get out of bed, while you’re getting ready in the morning or as you commute to work. See yourself having positive interactions with clients, colleagues and family. Set the scene for your day.

3.     Set the intention for your day

What do you want to achieve? What impact would you like this day to have on your life and of those with whom you interact? What can you do today that will serve others? What is one thing you will do to care for you today? Write a list in a journal or in 'Notes' on your phone.

4.     Plan your day

Be specific about time frames. What times during the day will you allow yourself to read and answer emails? When we will you give yourself some time to do something for you and for how long? This may be reading, exercising, doing yoga, having coffee with a friend, calling someone for a chat or meditating.

Make use of small pockets of time. 10 minutes is enough time to pay a bill, sign the school excursion note and make the dental appointment. A 45-minute soccer training session for the kids is a great opportunity to go for a run or a walk. If you are looking after other siblings during this time, take a ball and play with them on another part of the oval.  

Small changes help to clear our headspace and allow for greater flow in the day. When we feel in control of the day we experience less stress and a greater sense of satisfaction.